Independence: freedom from the control, influence, support, aid, or the like, of others.
Here in the United States, we are approaching our July 4th holiday – Independence Day. It is a fun day of celebration, good eating, fireworks and festivities.
What’s the state of your own independence? In your estimation, are you too independent or not independent enough? It is a balancing act, as we are interdependent on each other, but also want to be independent and on our own.
Independence matters in several ways. It allows your true expression of self, keeps you free from the control of others and allows you some “space” to be you. How independent do you want to be?
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You often have a choice of avoiding or facing something that is asking for your attention. When you choose to avoid something that matters to you, there are risks involved. Here are some of them:
• The situation can grow bigger, in reality or in your mind.
• You lose the opportunity to respond.
• Avoidance can create anxiety within you.
• You lose out on good outcomes.
• You are not able to see the situation clearly.
• You are expending energy to no avail.
• Your emotions and fears fester and grow.
Is there anything significant that you are avoiding now? Facing it may not be as uncomfortable as you think. Seize the moment now to face it. This will put you in control, create movement towards a positive outcome and relieve the stress involved in avoidance.
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All careers have a flow to them. Careers go through phases, as well as ups and downs. Sometimes, without your realizing it, your career can start to fade. By fading, I mean that your career starts losing momentum. There can be any number of reasons for careers fading: a decline in motivation, a person or situation presenting an obstacle, complacency, bewilderment, lack of interest, blindness, not knowing what to do to change a situation or fear.
What is the state of your career today? Is it bright and promising? Or is it beginning to fade? Do you need to pay some attention to your career, so that it maintains its momentum and employs all that you have to offer? Fading is dull and boring. Keep your career vital and you’ll find yourself fulfilled.
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Choosing to leap can make all the difference in creating a fulfilling life. Is there a place you are considering leaping to? It may be a change, a risk, an effort you want to make or an inspiration you want to follow.
Some thought and preparation is advisable before you leap, along with the awareness that leaping often involves the unknown and full certainty is rare. At times, there will be much to dissuade you – from both within yourself and those around you. However, at a certain point, you just have to “go”.
Where would you like to leap to?
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Fulfillment: satisfaction or happiness as a result of fully developing one’s abilities or character.
Do you connect being happy with fully developing your abilities and character? Or do you associate happiness with things external to you? If you do look outside yourself, you may feel that finding happiness is beyond your control. It is not. Finding happiness is all about you.
The above definition of fulfillment says a lot about the true nature of happiness. It is an individual and inside job. How much attention do you put to developing your abilities and character versus what you or others think you should do? By focusing within, fulfillment can be much closer than you think.
As you develop your abilities and character, you are using resources well within your reach. You can develop your talents and become more valuable in the work you are best at. Another take on developing your character is that you are being true to yourself. When you are, your fulfillment will increase.
Here’s hoping that your answer to the question “Are you fulfilled?” is “yes” or soon will be!
photo: Stuart Miles, FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Is there something in your career that you are long overdue to disconnect from? Staying attached to people, behaviors or things that no longer serve you can be an energy drain and leave no room for new people, behavior or things to come into your life.
If there is something, how about starting to disconnect from it this week? You can do so in small or large ways. Some small ways: set an intention and time frame for disconnecting, detach yourself in some small way, get used to the idea of it no longer being in your life. Some large ways: make a break, find your truth about the situation and speak it, make a significant change.
Disconnecting is healthy. It leaves you free to live your life the way you want to. Dragging along people, behaviors or things that no longer serve you slows you down and keeps you from being the very best you. Let them go.
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1. You are slowing down in your responses and reactions to things.
2. You are making mistakes.
3. Your physical stamina is low.
4. You feel discouraged.
5. Your attention is wandering.
6. You are losing focus on priorities.
7. People tell you that you look or seem tired.
8. You know you are tired, but feel you have to keep going.
9. You are not communicating clearly to others.
10. Thinking is labor intensive.
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Most likely, when you are alone and have some time to think, you have a clear handle on what is important to you. When you get to your workplace, interact with other people and encounter a myriad of situations, does what is important to you lose a little of its clarity? It is natural to be influenced by what is around you. The challenge lies in not letting your workplace turn you upside down. How do you get turned upside down?
Here are a few examples:
• The speed and intensity of the demands on you give you no time to think about what you are doing and deciding.
• Others are persuasive in their reasons why you must move away from what is important to you.
• You are pressured into actions that go against what is important to you and do not see a way out.
• The stress of your work has caused you to lose your center and what is important to you is no longer clear.
It is worthwhile, periodically, to remind yourself of what is important to you and assess whether you are honoring those things in all that you do. Don’t let your workplace turn you upside down. Stand upright and keep what’s important to you intact.
photo: Stuart Miles, FreeDigitalPhotos.net
When you work, you bring your whole self to whatever you do. One aspect of self is conditioning – past experiences that have a powerful influence on the way you think and act. We all have conditioning, whether we are conscious of it or not. Do you have a sense of your own conditioning? It is helpful to develop this awareness so you can be in charge of your responses, attitudes and actions in the situations you encounter.
What are the past experiences that have influenced you? What values have you developed over the years? Have past experiences created insecurities or strong convictions that you have? Can you see any of these influencing the way you have handled situations in the past? Do you shy away from anything because you are fearful?
Being awake to your conditioning allows you to know yourself fully and bring all that you are to your work and life. Once awake to them, you have the power to evaluate the effects of your past conditioning and decide what stays and what you are ready to let go of.
photo: Yuryz, Dreamstime.com
Worry is what we call a gremlin in coaching – an inner feeling or explanation that sabotages or stops you from moving forward or acting in your own interests. Not only can worry stop you in your tracks; it serves no useful purpose. Worry allows the mind to take over and dwell on difficulties, often blowing them out of proportion. Worry is destructive.
The underlying causes of worry are real – anxiety, uncertainty, unease or fear – what matters is the nature of your response to them. When worry shows its face, consider what your options are. Do you feed the worrying or take another, more useful, direction? My suggestion is to sidestep the worry, face the situation and find the best way to move forward. Worry is useless.
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