Stubborn

?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????Stubborn: having or showing dogged determination not to change one’s attitude or position on something, especially in spite of good arguments or reasons to do so.

What’s the impact of stubbornness in the workplace? Stubbornness slows things down. It causes arguments and clashes. But stubbornness does not always exist in the face of good arguments or reasons. Sometimes, stubbornness is due to the courage of a person’s convictions or fault lines that exist in others’ arguments or reasoning.

Are you stubborn? How do you respond to the stubbornness of others? An accusation of stubbornness can be subjective, as who is to say whether one’s attitude or position goes against reason or facts? Perhaps the best way to deal with stubbornness in yourself or others is to ignore its presence and continue on to the center of an issue by keeping dialogue going and working to understand others’ positions. Stubbornness is an obstacle you are better off without.

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Manager Coaching Skills: Naming It

ID-100125070So many coaching skills involve allowing the person you are coaching to make their own discoveries and reach their own conclusions. It is important to stand back and listen, to allow coaching to progress organically and to keep your biases out of the conversation. However, the success of your coaching depends on keeping things moving.

At times, you may see that something is happening that is sabotaging or delaying the progress of the coaching. You come to the conclusion that you have to “name” what is happening. This takes skill and sensitivity. Say that someone you are coaching is playing a game with you or with themselves, either consciously or unconsciously. Examples may be that they frequently try to change the focus of conversations, use their emotions to disrupt the flow of your meetings or are fooling or are deceiving themselves in some way.

“Naming it” is a tightrope walk – being able to address something but still assuring the safety and effectiveness of the coaching space. One way to walk this tightrope is to direct your questions towards the issue and lead the person to seeing what is happening. Another is to employ your emotional intelligence and bring the issue out in the open. It may take practice, but developing the skill of “naming it” will pay off by allowing you to overcome barriers and to progress in a positive manner with your coaching.

 

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Refusal To See

ID-10076951Sometimes it is hard to look at situations, people or beliefs that are not serving you. Ignoring them, however, doesn’t make them go away. They are still there; you are just refusing to see them There are consequences to this blindness. When something does not serve you, it is either taking up space or harming you. Sometimes it grows worse over time. Imagine something growing larger beside you, as long as you refuse to see.

Are there any things in your life today that you are refusing to see? Perhaps something that is chipping away at your confidence, a relationship that drains your energy, a dream you are avoiding pursuing or something you are neglecting?

Opening your eyes is not as hard as you may think it is. Refusing to see holds you back and closes your eyes to the life you want to live. Open eyes are a much better alternative.

 

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Through The Fear

FearFear can show its face at work and often does. It finds its way within uncertainty, dysfunctional cultures, self doubt, power plays, edges of comfort zones, unexpected outcomes and aggression.

The best way to deal with fear is to go right through it. Pushing it down, pretending it is not there or convincing yourself it doesn’t matter, only increases fear’s hold on you.

 

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Alignment With Reality

ID-10068087Reality: the world or the state of things as they actually exist, as opposed to an idealistic or notional idea of them.

Are your life and actions aligned with reality? You may say reality is a downer. It can be, but it is the best place to start from. Reality does not limit you or dictate your next steps. It just needs to be factored in, so that your choices come both from truth and the present moment.

Say that you are in what looks like a lose-lose situation at work. Do you pretend what is happening isn’t there? Or do you look carefully at the reality of what exists and find your way through it? I think the latter. When you align with reality, no matter how bad things are, you actually are in a very powerful place. Truth sets you free.

 

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Upside Down

ID-10045534So much can deter us from honoring our values and priorities. We have to keep them front and center. What are your values? What are your priorities for 2015? Identify them and keep them close, as you work and go through your day. With focus, you’ll honor your values and achieve your goals. Otherwise, they may end up upside down, doing no one any good.

 

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What Are You Certain Of?

ID-10010752It is an interesting question. On one hand, you could answer, “I am certain of nothing. Everything changes.” On the other hand you could answer, “I am certain of myself and who I am.”

How do certainty and uncertainty affect you? Both can be illusions. Are you really 100% certain? Is there really as much uncertainty in the present moment as you think there is? Certainty-uncertainty – it’s a balance. Both are elements of our lives. Both affect us in positive and negative ways. Both can harm us, if we lose perspective.

What are you certain of?

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Will You “Spring” Into Spring?

ID-100174472Spring: To rise, leap, move, or act suddenly and swiftly, as by a sudden thrust forward or outward, or being suddenly released from a coiled or constrained position.

Spring starts in the northern hemisphere on March 20th. Whether March 20th is the start of Spring for you or not, the thought here is to move into action and take a leap in your life and career. What is waiting for you to leap to it? What is currently constraining you, that you can leap away from?

What’s one thing you could do that would make a positive and significant difference in your life and career – something that you’d be proud to do? Identify what it is, get into action and commit to make it happen!

 

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Take A Walk At Lunch – Really?

ID-100298048A recent article in the New York Times  extolled the benefits of a lunch hour walk to buoy your mood and your ability to handle stress at work. A study mentioned in the article focused on the impact of exercise on people’s moods and evidence that feeling positive and enthusiastic at work is very important to productivity.

So, what do you think? Does a lunch hour walk sound good to you? Would you make the time to take one? If not, what will you do to manage stress and stay positive and enthusiastic about your work?

 

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What Clouds Your Vision?

ID-10020627Clarity is essential to making good decisions. There are many things that can cloud your vision, without your realizing that they are doing so. What kind of things? Here are several: biases, fears, attitudes, pre-judgments, ambiguity or confusion. Discerning when any of these things are present in your decision-making is a skill that is worth developing.

Take a moment and look back at a decision that resulted in trouble for you. What was going on when you made the decision? Did you have clarity around it? Then, look at a decision that went well for you. Did you have clarity when you made it? One way to create clarity is to stop when making a significant decision and bring yourself fully to the present moment. Ascertain what is happening in the present and let it inform the decision you make. Develop ways to clear your vision. With clear vision, you are able to see everything around you and your decisions will reflect your clarity.

 

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