What Makes You Whole?

What do you need to feel good about yourself and your career? By asking what makes you whole, I am referring to what makes you feel good and on top of your game.

There are plenty of things that can take parts of yourself away from you – disappointments, failures, difficult people. But these things do not have to have lasting effects. If you know what makes you whole, you can – in the face of losing a part of yourself or your confidence – do what you need to and make yourself whole again.

What makes you whole is being true to the essence of who you are and what you desire. Know what makes you whole and you can’t go wrong.

What are the things that make you whole and happy?

 

photo: stocksnap.io

Bullies Have No Power Unless You Give Yours To Them

bullyKuriouspixabayDo you work with a bully? Bullies do not have real power – they depend on your fear, discomfort or belief in their power over you. If you give power to a bully, they usually run with it.

Stay aware that you have power and choice in any situation. Self-respect, staying calm and managing your emotions are powerful antidotes to a workplace bully.

Check out my animation on How To Deal With A Bully Boss! 

 

photo: Kurious, pixabay.com

Who Am I?

ID-10026253When I am working with clients who are preparing for an important event or meeting, we often use a tool named “Who Am I?” I first used the tool with a client who was uncertain of how he would present himself at an upcoming conference where he would be meeting people for the first time. Our purpose was to find a way that he could center, build his confidence and handle himself well.

The tool works like this:

• prior to a meeting or event, take time to identify who will be there and how you fit in (set the context)

• identify why you are attending and why you belong there (center yourself)

• take time to lay out what you want to say about yourself when you meet people and what you will say about why you are there (presenting yourself)

• identify any doubts or insecurities you have about the meeting and address them, so you are not caught off guard – in some cases there may not be anything to do about them, but decide how you will handle them – in other cases, chase them away (build confidence)

• identify 3 or more goals that you have for the event or meeting (focus yourself on results)

So often, preparation marks the difference between success and failure. Staying centered and focused goes a long way in building your confidence and reaching your goals.

 

photo: Salvatore Vuono, FreeDigitaPhotos.net

I Can Do This

ID-100279462Sometimes you face challenges that initially seem insurmountable. How do you get to the place where you are ready to say, “I can do this”? It is not always easy.

To get there, build your belief in yourself. It is not always about being able to do the impossible when others ask for it. It is more about your ability to see a situation clearly, analyze what’s possible and determine what is that you and your team can do. Sometimes your hesitancy in saying “I can do this” is rooted in fear, a lack of information or uncertainty. In that case, don’t stop. Investigate and assess the situation. The key here as well, is to build your confidence and belief in yourself. Don’t underestimate your abilities or those of your team. Be ready to grow and stretch, if you need to.

Saying “I can do this” is a must for succeeding in management. But, in different situations, this statement has different meanings. Stay positive and out of fear, believe in yourself, keep a clear head and more often than not, you’ll be saying, “I can do this”.

photo: Master isolated images, FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Refusal To See

ID-10076951Sometimes it is hard to look at situations, people or beliefs that are not serving you. Ignoring them, however, doesn’t make them go away. They are still there; you are just refusing to see them There are consequences to this blindness. When something does not serve you, it is either taking up space or harming you. Sometimes it grows worse over time. Imagine something growing larger beside you, as long as you refuse to see.

Are there any things in your life today that you are refusing to see? Perhaps something that is chipping away at your confidence, a relationship that drains your energy, a dream you are avoiding pursuing or something you are neglecting?

Opening your eyes is not as hard as you may think it is. Refusing to see holds you back and closes your eyes to the life you want to live. Open eyes are a much better alternative.

 

photo: imagerymajestic, FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Facing Up To It

Do you have something pulling at you, that you don’t want to “face up” to?

Up front, I have to say I am often slow at facing up. I will avoid it for a while. It takes me some time to find an approach that I can pursue confidently.

Is there anything pulling at you now that you’d be better off facing up to? Perhaps it is an uncomfortable situation with a co-worker or team member, a feeling that you are no longer a fit with what you are doing, a problem that needs your attention or something you need to do, but have been avoiding. The ironic thing about facing up is that often it is more uncomfortable avoiding it, than it is facing it. The situation builds up in your mind and can be blown out of proportion. Very quickly, these situations become energy drains.

Facing up asks you first to reach clarity regarding the situation and identify what it is causing your discomfort. Once you have clarity, you can look at your options for handling the situation. Facing up is not the easiest thing to do. However, by doing it, you will find yourself free and able to move in a lighter energy, as you manage.

What can you face up to in the next week?

photo: ambro, FreeDigitalPhotos.net

“I Know I Can Do This!”

Is there something beckoning you that would be a stretch to pursue? Sometimes opportunity calls quietly; sometimes it calls louder and louder. To respond effectively, you need to have confidence. Confidence is belief in your ability to handle challenges and to grow.

Take a moment to consider if there is something worthwhile beckoning you now. It could be a new opportunity, the chance to improve a skill or the opportunity to innovate. How are you responding?

Do you have the confidence to go for it? Sometimes you have to take a leap. You may not have all the elements you think you need to feel safe. If you analyze the opportunity carefully and assess your level of readiness, you can identify what you need to get in place and go for it. Sometimes, you may be doing these things after you take the leap. That’s okay. What’s most important is believing in yourself, making a commitment and knowing “I can do this!”.

photo: Salvatore Vuono, FreeDigitalPhotos.net

The Tactic of Dispensability

Much too often, I hear from managers that they are in an organization that is working them to death and, at the same time, communicating that they are dispensable. There’s a major disjoint in this. An organization is asking more of a manager, often way beyond reason, and at the same time is refusing to recognize the extra (and often extraordinary) contributions the manager is making. The dispensability message may be subtle, but is heard clearly by managers and employees. No additional income, no recognition, “bottom line” justifications, more time, less resources, we can find someone else if you cannot do it – a recipe for burnout and frustration. The tactic is weighted significantly in the favor of the organization, at the expense of their employees. Something is radically wrong here.

Are you in a situation like this? Best to evaluate the toll it is taking on you and what your options are. Save yourself. There may be no one else watching out for you. Be confident of your value, set boundaries and don’t let anyone run you into the ground. You are worthy of more than this.

Photo: FreeDigitalPhotos.net