Indecision

Indecision is tough. Everyone, in varying degrees, experiences it. You need time to make a decision –  that’s a given. However indecision, if allowed to go on too long, can paralyze you.

How can you get through indecision? Here are a few ideas:

• Give yourself a break. Your decisions are not set in stone. They are only set in the present moment, with the information you have available to you. Know that your past decisions do not own you. You can change a decision if things change in the future.

• Trust yourself that you are ready to make a decision. Your mind may play games telling you that you are not capable or ready, but you are.

• Do your best to let go of an expectation that you will make a perfect decision. Such a thing doesn’t exist. You can strive to make the best decision possible for you and that is pretty good.

• Do your best to identify your fears regarding a decision. What is the nature of your fear? Is it real or made-up? Figure out how can you confront any fears you encounter. Act in spite of the fear, knowing that you have thought the decision out as best you can.

You alone walk your journey. Only you can keep your feet moving on your path. Walk at the pace that works for you and keep yourself in motion.

 

photo: nhilbanda, pixabay.com

Staying Too Long

couchcondesignpixabayUsually, you know if you have stayed too long in a place or situation. It doesn’t feel good, but you can’t get yourself moving. Perhaps you don’t know where to go, don’t like going outside of your comfort zone or have fear around your next step. As uncomfortable as it may be, it is in your best interest to get moving. Staying too long has negative consequences. Things can get worse. You can get increasingly frustrated or worried. You can lose control and get pushed out.

Once you have recognized that you have stayed too long, start looking forward. The past is over. Your world has changed. Create a new chapter that will bring you happiness and fulfillment. You can do it.

 

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The Mind’s Chatter

mindjohnhainpixabayWho is in charge – your mind or you? Often, your mind is a master in taking the lead. There are definite positives in that. However, staying centered among the mental, emotional, physical and spiritual aspects of your life has many more advantages. Allowing your mind to be a runaway train does not serve you.

What’s the nature of your mind’s chatter? Does it distract you? Cause worry or anxiety? Tell you false truths? Have you found ways to balance your mind’s chatter and maintain your center? In my next post, I’ll identify ten ways to balance your mind’s unproductive chatter.

 

photo: john hain, pixabay.com

Have You Built Any Walls?

walltpsdavepixabayWalls have different functions. When you build a wall best to know its purpose. Is your wall meant to protect you, keep others out or to serve another intention? Make sure the wall serves the purpose you intend it for.

What is a wall? A wall is a separation; a way to keep yourself in or something or someone else out. You can build a wall as protection from someone who does not act in your interest. You can build a wall because you are fearful of something or someone. You can build a wall for detachment, so that you can trust your perception of a situation.

Sometimes, you can build a wall unconsciously, driven by your emotions. Once you do so, the wall is affecting you and can have negative consequences that you are not even aware of. When you build a wall, know what you are doing. Walls are barriers – make sure they serve a positive purpose before you build one.

 

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Flight

flightskeezepixabayFlight has its beauty. It also has its downside. Sometimes, you are face to face with your fears or something you are experiencing seems to be way too much to handle. The fight-or-flight response is a physiological reaction that occurs in response to a perceived harmful event, attack, or threat to survival. It was first described by Walter Bradford Cannon.

In your work life, when you face fear or uncomfortable situations, they can threaten some aspect of your emotional or mental make-up, your sense of security or your sense of self. Stress can trigger the fight-or-flight response. Flight in the face of fear can cause you harm. Facing the situation is the best way to resolve it. It takes strength and courage and you can grow in the process.

The next time your immediate response to fear or an uncomfortable situation is flight, take the time to look at and assess what is happening. After doing so, it may not be as threatening as you first thought it was and you can handle it or you may realize you can benefit by staying put. If that is not the case, you can choose to steadily walk away, knowing exactly why you are choosing to do so.

 

photo: skeeze, pixabay.com 

Sometimes Small Steps Will Do It

ID-100203864Change can be daunting at times. Sometimes, you can magnify what it will take to make a change, causing you to slow down. In many cases, if you look at the change that is called for in the present moment instead of letting your imagination run wild, making the change becomes possible.

Here are some questions you can ask yourself the next time you are faced with the possibility of change:

• Is the change something I am creating or is it being imposed on me?

• Do I have a choice whether to make the change or not?

• Will the change bring large or small changes to my life?

• What do I need to be able to make the change?

• Am I afraid of this change? How can I limit fear’s power over me?

• What is a small step I can take to begin the change?

• If the change is being imposed on me, what is one step I can take to adjust to it?

• What are the good things this change will bring?

Change is constant, as you know. Sometimes, a small change in attitude and approach makes change possible and rewarding. No need to resist it. Embracing change brings adventure, and even stability, to your life or work. Why embrace change? Well, if change is all around you, best that you master it.

 

photo: sattva, FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Do You Create Fear In Others As You Manage?

ID-10096213In a past post, Do You Ever Feel Fear At Work? I looked at how feeling fear can be a destructive force.  The flip side is if we, as managers, create fear in others. For me, creating fear serves no good purpose. It is effective for some in maintaining control but, essentially, it is bullying that has no place in our workplaces.

Good managing involves building a team, not breaking people down. How do managers create fear in others? They create an environment of insecurity, where team members do not know where they stand and feel their position is tenuous. They threaten people, subtly or overtly. They let their emotions run wild, intimidating others. They create uncertainty, without providing leadership.

Do you think you create fear in others? Is it intentional? Could you be creating fear subconsciously? It takes courage to manage openly, respecting others and maintaining your and their integrity. Do you have the courage to eliminate fear from your workplace?

 

photo: Victor Habbick, FreeDigitalPhotos.net

The Uselessness of Worry

ID-10046971Worry is what we call a gremlin in coaching – an inner feeling or explanation that sabotages or stops you from moving forward or acting in your own interests. Not only can worry stop you in your tracks; it serves no useful purpose. Worry allows the mind to take over and dwell on difficulties, often blowing them out of proportion. Worry is destructive.

The underlying causes of worry are real – anxiety, uncertainty, unease or fear – what matters is the nature of your response to them. When worry shows its face, consider what your options are. Do you feed the worrying or take another, more useful, direction? My suggestion is to sidestep the worry, face the situation and find the best way to move forward. Worry is useless.

 

photo: Ambro, FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Through The Fear

FearFear can show its face at work and often does. It finds its way within uncertainty, dysfunctional cultures, self doubt, power plays, edges of comfort zones, unexpected outcomes and aggression.

The best way to deal with fear is to go right through it. Pushing it down, pretending it is not there or convincing yourself it doesn’t matter, only increases fear’s hold on you.

 

photo: Ivosar | Dreamstime.com

Do You Ever Feel Fear At Work?

ID-100296906We all deal with fear in our lives. A recent New York Times column, Why Fear Kills Productivity provides some good insights and suggestions concerning fear in the workplace.

When you feel fear you can experience physical, mental and emotional effects. At times, there are good reasons to feel fear – perhaps when you feel you will not be able to deliver on a deadline or product or when your job is threatened by cost-cutting, or other things beyond your control. This kind of fear you can find ways to deal with. However, fear due to mistreatment, intimidation or bully bosses has no place at work. That kind of fear is unwarranted and needs to be identified and dealt with constructively. Fear should never debilitate you.

How often do you feel fear at work? Have you given much thought to this?

 

 

Note: Interestingly, the New York Times column is written by Tony Schwartz whose work is profiled in an article I referenced recently in my post: Renewing Your Energy Matters As You Manage 

photo: Stuart Miles, FreeDigitalPhotos.net