So many coaching skills involve allowing the person you are coaching to make their own discoveries and reach their own conclusions. It is important to stand back and listen, to allow coaching to progress organically and to keep your biases out of the conversation. However, the success of your coaching depends on keeping things moving.
At times, you may see that something is happening that is sabotaging or delaying the progress of the coaching. You come to the conclusion that you have to “name” what is happening. This takes skill and sensitivity. Say that someone you are coaching is playing a game with you or with themselves, either consciously or unconsciously. Examples may be that they frequently try to change the focus of conversations, use their emotions to disrupt the flow of your meetings or are fooling or are deceiving themselves in some way.
“Naming it” is a tightrope walk – being able to address something but still assuring the safety and effectiveness of the coaching space. One way to walk this tightrope is to direct your questions towards the issue and lead the person to seeing what is happening. Another is to employ your emotional intelligence and bring the issue out in the open. It may take practice, but developing the skill of “naming it” will pay off by allowing you to overcome barriers and to progress in a positive manner with your coaching.
photo: renjith krishnan, FreeDigitalPhotos.net