What’s In Your Control?

You know from experience that there are things you can control and things that you cannot. Still, you can find yourself trying futilely to control something that is beyond your reach. Yes, it is difficult to acknowledge that you cannot influence a situation, but thinking that you have control when you do not, can really mess things up. When you attempt to exert control that you do not have, it’s like trying to get a stuck car out of the sand by gunning the motor. It only spins your wheels and gets you deeper in.

How do you discern the level of control you have in a situation? Get good at doing so. Then, you can create a winning strategy that recognizes reality and has you making moves that matter.

 

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The Power In Allowing

So many times you can find yourself fighting reality. You don’t like the way things are, so you resist. Doing so does not serve you. It expends your energy and takes your time, usually with little result. Alternatively, you can find the power in allowing.

Allowing refers to using the way things are as your starting point. It does not mean that you accept the way things are; just that you see things clearly and go from there. Doing so gets rid of any illusions and lets you address a situation as it is. Then, you are better able to protect your interests and achieve your desired result.

 

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More Of That!

What jazzes you and makes you happy? Are those things present in your work life? True, there are some separations that must exist between life and work. However, following a path for your career that includes what makes you happy can bring you significant benefits. Too often, our society sends messages that we are not meant to be happy at work. In reality, being happy with your work leads to productivity, success, purpose and fulfillment.

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True Voice

Do you know your true voice? You may not speak your true voice in every encounter; however, there are some encounters where it is essential. Your true voice comes from within. It embodies your values, reflects your integrity, sets your boundaries and protects you.

Things can get sticky when you do not know or speak your true voice. Others can take advantage of or manipulate you. You can be forced into situations that do not honor your values or boundaries. If you have yet to find your true voice, here are some questions to answer that can get you started:

• What is non-negotiable in your life – things you will not do?

• What are your three most important values?

• What lines can people not cross with you?

Your true voice is the expression of you. Know it and your path will be illuminated, leading to a centered and fulfilling life.

 

photo: jeffery-hamilton, unsplash.com

Work Is Family?

A recent New York Times column, Your Workplace Isn’t Your Family (And That’s OK!) , has a warning for people who see work as family: put yourself first.

Do you see your co-workers as family? It is easy to go to that place. You spend so much time with them. You want to be accepted. You work as a team. It is important to distinguish that “family” as you know it at home, is an illusion in the workplace. You can redefine family for your workplace; however be sure you have no confusion – work is not family.

Work can be a rewarding and rich experience with lasting relationships, yes. However, remember you are at work to perform and reach common goals, that may not be your own. You have to look out for you.

 

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Turned Around

Sometimes things happen that change what you see. You may have a view of a person or situation that works for you and then something happens that changes your viewpoint drastically. Say, you have a colleague that you see as dedicated, steadfast and non-judgmental and then you find out he or she has been deliberately undermining you and others.

When you get turned around, you may as well enjoy the view. Most likely, a truth or something previously unknown has been revealed. Put yourself firmly in the now and create your path forward from there.

 

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One Way Of Seeing Things Clearly

You handle things best when you clearly “see” a situation. Biases, tilted emotions, fears and skewed perspective can cloud your vision. One powerful way to sharpen your skill at seeing things clearly is to practice non-judgment.

Non-judgment does not mean lack of opinion, perspective or feeling. It is a state in which to observe a situation or person without a decision of right or wrong. What does this get you? It lets you see a situation or person without bias. From there, you can decide how to proceed. Your clear vision will allow you to respond, rather than react, and to make the best move possible.

 

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How Do You Deal With Fear?

Fear can turn you around in many ways. When you feel fear you can lose perspective, courage and power. Fear can come from within or from things outside you (some use fear to control and manipulate others). It serves you to have a way of dealing with fear when it shows up in your life and work.

What is your natural reaction to fear? Do you hide, try to tackle it, get defensive? Know your natural reaction to fear. Then, identify a way of dealing with fear that serves your interests. Doing this makes a big difference. You will be able to maintain your perspective, courage and power, no matter what comes along.

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Positive Disturbance

It is natural to want smooth sailing in your life and work. You do what you can to keep it that way. To varying degrees, disturbance shows up and smooth sailing is disrupted. When this happens, you do what you can to get things going smoothly again.

Have you ever thought of disturbance as a positive thing? It can be. At work, disturbance can strengthen your skills, change your perspective in a positive way, help you see things you could not see before and rearrange things for the better.

Next time you experience a disturbance, make the most of it.

 

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