Quandry: a state of perplexity or uncertainty over what to do in a difficult situation.
Sometimes, the path ahead of you is not clear. Choices are needed. When you are in a quandry, best to face head-on the choices you have to make. They may take you out of your comfort zone; better that than making a choice that keeps you “safe” but does not protect you or your interests.
Quandries can move you forward, if handled well. They are inevitable in the course of your life and career. Recognize and honor their power in creating the life you want to live. Once you handle them, a new path is ahead of you.
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You have an intuitive voice within that sometimes tries to quietly caution you. When you are not sure whether to act, best to wait. Stop for a while and assess what you are about to do. By waiting, you build confidence in your intended action, uncover better approaches and identify any obstacles involved. Then, once you have waited, you can act with the prospect of much better results.
Is there anything you are considering doing, but something tells you it may not be good for you? Try waiting and make your path forward a clearer one.
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Some situations bring you to the razor’s edge. You find yourself having to make serious judgments and decisions very quickly. The actions you take could have serious consequences and you have little time. What’s the best way to survive on the razor’s edge?
When you find yourself on the razor’s edge, be aware that you are on a thin precipice and have two ways you can fall. Do your best to stay centered and watch out for your best interests. Be aware of those around you who are involved in the situation. It’s a balancing act. You can do it if you know where you are and what is at stake.
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Some choices are challenging to make. As a result, you may close your eyes as you make them. You just push yourself through to the other side and get it over with. While this may seem easier to do at the time, there is a downside. The choice you are making may impact you later and you are not fully present when you are making it.
Being fully present to the choices you make allows you to lead your life where you want it to be. It may be difficult at times; however why close your eyes? It limits your view and does not serve you.
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Do you often seek the approval of others? Do you also seek your own approval? Approval is the opinion that something is considered to be good or acceptable.
Approval can be a double-edged sword, either helping or harming you. Seeking the approval of others is not in itself a bad thing. Others may have the power to make something happen. You may respect those you seek approval from and value their opinions. The flip side of this is when you seek the approval of others because you are not confident in your own thoughts or actions. This can lead to making decisions or taking actions that do not serve your interests, giving your power away or coming under the control of another.
The first approval to seek is your own. When you take or contemplate taking an action, thoroughly vet your plans with yourself and make sure you want to go forward. You can ask others for input as you do so; that is not the same as asking for approval. In some cases, another’s approval may be necessary for you to proceed. In that case, first and foremost, have confidence in yourself and your decisions. From there, you can deal with the approval or disapproval of others.
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Do you ever get yourself to a place where you think you have no choice in a situation? That is a falsity. You always have choice. Saying you have no choice is giving away your power.
Thing is, you may have a hard choice in front of you that you would rather not face. Better to face that hard choice. It never serves you to abdicate your power of choice.
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The opportunity to create a space in which to think is viewed as a luxury these days. However, taking the time to think things out ensures better outcomes and often saves you the time of redoing or repairing past decisions.
Do you take the time to think things out? If not, what are the reasons why – it slows things down, it is too much effort or it takes too much time? What is the last major decision you made as a manager? Did you think it out? How do the results of your decision relate to the time you took to think it out?
Taking the time to think things out often results in your interests being better served, anticipation of obstacles or problems that may result from your decision, getting the facts you need to make the best decision for you and your organization and avoidance of unanticipated consequences. Thinking things out may take time, but it is time well spent.
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Reality: the world or the state of things as they actually exist, as opposed to an idealistic or notional idea of them.
Are your life and actions aligned with reality? You may say reality is a downer. It can be, but it is the best place to start from. Reality does not limit you or dictate your next steps. It just needs to be factored in, so that your choices come both from truth and the present moment.
Say that you are in what looks like a lose-lose situation at work. Do you pretend what is happening isn’t there? Or do you look carefully at the reality of what exists and find your way through it? I think the latter. When you align with reality, no matter how bad things are, you actually are in a very powerful place. Truth sets you free.
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Clarity is essential to making good decisions. There are many things that can cloud your vision, without your realizing that they are doing so. What kind of things? Here are several: biases, fears, attitudes, pre-judgments, ambiguity or confusion. Discerning when any of these things are present in your decision-making is a skill that is worth developing.
Take a moment and look back at a decision that resulted in trouble for you. What was going on when you made the decision? Did you have clarity around it? Then, look at a decision that went well for you. Did you have clarity when you made it? One way to create clarity is to stop when making a significant decision and bring yourself fully to the present moment. Ascertain what is happening in the present and let it inform the decision you make. Develop ways to clear your vision. With clear vision, you are able to see everything around you and your decisions will reflect your clarity.
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Sometimes you can find yourself on the edge of something and feeling a bit unsteady. It can be an edge between two options, or decisions, an edge that you are starting to step off involuntarily or an edge of conflicting emotions. When you are teetering on an edge, gather your awareness; you don’t want to fall.
You can get yourself to an edge unconsciously and be surprised that you are there. Or, your actions can lead you there step-by-step. When you find yourself on an edge, best to regroup immediately, figure out what got you there and steady yourself. Then, you can take the action that is in your best interest.
Have you found yourself teetering on the edge recently? Did you get yourself back to solid ground?
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