How Do You Treat People?

Knowing how you treat people is an aspect of emotional intelligence. How you communicate with others directly impacts the nature of your interactions. For example, if you treat people with respect, you may get respect in return. If you are rushed in your communications because you have things to do, others may feel disregarded. Of course, your ways of treating others may vary according to the nature of your day and the person you are interacting with.

How do you treat others? What are the values and methods of communication you employ? Do your own emotions affect how you treat others? Does how people treat you impact your communication?

Take a moment to reflect on how you treat people. Doing so can lead to better communication and less stressful interactions with others.

 

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Work Is Family?

A recent New York Times column, Your Workplace Isn’t Your Family (And That’s OK!) , has a warning for people who see work as family: put yourself first.

Do you see your co-workers as family? It is easy to go to that place. You spend so much time with them. You want to be accepted. You work as a team. It is important to distinguish that “family” as you know it at home, is an illusion in the workplace. You can redefine family for your workplace; however be sure you have no confusion – work is not family.

Work can be a rewarding and rich experience with lasting relationships, yes. However, remember you are at work to perform and reach common goals, that may not be your own. You have to look out for you.

 

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Turned Around

Sometimes things happen that change what you see. You may have a view of a person or situation that works for you and then something happens that changes your viewpoint drastically. Say, you have a colleague that you see as dedicated, steadfast and non-judgmental and then you find out he or she has been deliberately undermining you and others.

When you get turned around, you may as well enjoy the view. Most likely, a truth or something previously unknown has been revealed. Put yourself firmly in the now and create your path forward from there.

 

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Anxiety

More and more, I am encountering discussions about anxiety in both my coaching and my personal life. What is going on? Are we changing in some way and adjusting to the change?

Are the speed and uncertainty of our world affecting many and inducing anxiety? We should stay aware of the presence of anxiety in both ourselves and in others. It is an indicator that something needs attention. When anxiety shows up, examine if you are living your life in alignment with your values, if time is getting the better of you or if something is wanting your attention.

Anxiety does not serve you or others. It may take time and effort to deal with, but will be totally worth your while. Best to face it and find your way through.

 

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Humility

Humility – The state or quality of being humble; freedom from pride and arrogance.

How does humility factor into your life and work? Some see humility as a weakness. Others see it as a strength. Personally, I see it as a strength, if viewed as freedom from pride and arrogance. I recently read a novel where a lead character would often bow his head as a sign of respect for another or acknowledging something that was said. I found power in that image.

Humility does not preclude you from having confidence. It is about how you present yourself to the world. You can allow your best attributes to shine for you, rather than push them on others. You can realize that everyone has value, including you.

How did we get to a place where humility is seen as a weakness, where if you are not constantly promoting yourself you are losing out? Try on some humility and see if it actually empowers and enlivens you.

 

photo: Spenser(@spensewithans), unsplash.com

The Many Faces Of Control

Do you strive to be “in control”? Many people do. It strikes me how many varying perspectives there are regarding what being in control means. Some go overboard, thinking they must control every aspect of their environment – an almost impossible thing to do. Others are selective and want to control only certain aspects of their work and lives. Some aim to control themselves, thinking that is the only true control they have. Some try to control others, which often causes harm.

How about you? What must you control in your work and life? If you “lose control” is it catastrophic? How realistic is your perspective on what you can and cannot control?

Control is fine, when you are you able to do so. Having control can also be an illusion. Know how to discern this and your life will be “under control” in the best way possible.

 

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The Power of “Pivoting”

There is a concept called pivoting that encourages you to move from a negative attitude to a positive one. Do you know how to pivot? Consider a time when you were in a bad or negative mood and you successfully got out of it. How did you do it?

I pivot by quickly getting to my center, becoming quiet and observing what put me in a negative state. Then, I choose what I want to do next. In some cases, my mood is deep, so I find music that helps me get into a positive state, take a break from a situation or find positive ways to view what is happening. I always, however, acknowledge and validate how I feel before pivoting.

The best pivoting techniques are often an individual choice. Here are some that I have seen people use:

• Having a mantra or affirmation that changes perspective when needed

• Acknowledging that “this too shall pass”

• Finding something that creates happiness (quickly)

• Deciding firmly how to deal with a negative situation, speak truth about it and move on

• Knowing how to center quickly, in order to gain perspective

• Getting out of a long-term situation that has too much negativity

Pivoting serves you and keeps you at your best. Build your skill at pivoting and the view you see will be a good one!

 

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Starting With You

“It is folly for him to rule over others who cannot govern himself.”  – Publius Syrus

Are some of you shaking your heads in agreement with this quote? How many of you have had managers who have little self-awareness and prove it, over and over again, as they manage others? So much of success involves knowledge of people and how they interact. How can you gain this knowledge without knowing yourself – what motivates you, what disconnects you, what you need to collaborate effectively?

How well do you know yourself? How well do you understand what motivates and engages others with whom you work? Your effectiveness as a team member or manager starts with you!

 

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Can You Be Authentic At Work?

There’s a lot involved in being authentic. It is about being true to yourself, being transparent and speaking your truth. Is authenticity valued at your workplace? Do others want to hear from you? A lot can interfere with authenticity in the workplace. You may want to maintain an “image” that you believe can lead you to success. You may value emotional intelligence as an essential factor in teamwork and collaboration and allow it to influence your authenticity in certain situations. You may discern that speaking your truth does not serve you. Where do you draw the line between your authenticity and the nature of your workplace?

Whether you can be authentic at work is a question that you have to answer. It is worth paying attention to so that you do not lose yourself as you work.

 

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