1. Undefined personal boundaries
2. Tendencies to create “dramas” with co-workers
4. Grudges or biases rooted in past experiences
8. Lack of focus
10. Too little fun
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At work you form relationships. Do you ever think about the nature of those relationships? This is something that is worth your attention, as missteps can have negative consequences.
Relationships form at work as a result of common goals, mutual advantage, the dictates of others and organizational ties. They are not always formed by choice or preference, as personal friendships are. Hidden agendas can be present and self interests or competition can create discord.
A “work friendship” is possible. Just make sure you know its nature and the boundaries to keep.
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When chaos shows up, best to be ready for it. Chaos can sweep you away into disorganization, disorientation, unbalanced emotions and confusion. You don’t want that to happen, do you?
Being ready for chaos involves the ability to quickly get grounded and fully into the present moment, focus, discernment, insight and emotional intelligence. Developing these skills can help you be ready for whatever chaos comes along!
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Gravitas: A serious or dignified demeanor.
Gravitas was a virtue that was particularly appreciated in leaders in Ancient Rome. It still matters today. Is there anything going on in your work life right now that needs your gravitas? Taking things lightly can be a benefit or a detriment, depending on the situation. In some cases, seriousness is what moves you forward in the best and most efficient way.
There are a number of things that indicate when your gravitas is warranted: others involved are taking the situation very seriously, the possible consequences of how you proceed can cause problems for you, the outcome of the situation matters greatly to you or others who matter, you have something to lose if the outcome does not go your way or your own values are involved and you want to honor them.
What needs your gravitas today?
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Avoidance is an energy drain and usually does not make something go away. Best to face, rather than avoid, something you would rather not deal with.
Is there anything you are avoiding now? If yes, claim it. You have what you need to face it and determine what you want to do.
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Our world seems defined by polarity these days. Opposites are not exactly attracting. The constructive answer to polarity is to get through it.
Do you see examples of polarity on a day-to-day level? You do our world a service, if you find ways to get through it to harmony.
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The way you describe the work you do can offer valuable insights. Work can be described in many ways: the nature of your work (specifics of what you “do”), the emotions you have about your work (love, hate, tolerate) or your goals for your work and career.
Take a moment now and describe your work. See what it reveals and proceed from there.
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As a coach, practicing active listening is essential. I recently read an article, How the Korean Concept of ‘Nunchi’ Can Help You Listen to Your Needs. The article defines Nunchi as the act of being able to pick up on someone else’s emotions and respond in the best way possible. It goes on to advise that you practice Nunchi by actively listening to yourself, as well.
How good a listener are you, both to yourself and to others? It is a key skill in the workplace. Sure, there are many who succeed without listening. However, what kind of success are you looking for? Practicing Nunchi brings you far in dealing with others, as well as with yourself. It gives you an advantage that is well worth having.
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Oh, if life was a smooth ride without discomfort. Not! Your level of comfort with discomfort is a factor in your ability to cope and thrive in life and work. There are numerous reactions you can have to being uncomfortable – anxiety, fear and avoidance are a few.
There are benefits to developing a response to discomfort that serves you, rather than only reacting. This starts with facing your emotion of discomfort. Look it in the eye and acknowledge it. Then, break it down in pieces – what is going on? Decide what its cause is and what you can do about it. As you do this over time, being uncomfortable will start to lose its power. You may even get comfortable with being uncomfortable! ☺
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Fear is unpleasant and disconcerting. It can show up in life and work, with people you love and those you don’t, in unfamiliar situations and because other people are promoting it.
If you don’t like feeling fear, make sure not to feed it. Fear can get a grip on you very quickly. It has a power of its own and takes courage and strength to deal with. Learn to recognize and understand your fear. Once it shows up, find ways to stop it, rather than letting it grow.
You can stop fear in many ways: by grounding in the present moment and looking at the cause of your fear and by finding techniques to deal with it such as employing ways to calm yourself down, engaging in physical exercise or identifying the usual causes of your fear and addressing them directly.
The next time you feel fear best to stop it, rather than feed it. Fear slows you down and scares you. Your life and work are better off without it.
photo: Aarón Blanco Tejedor, unsplash.com