The Dangers Of Denial

When you deny that something exists, you take a risk. Consciously or unconsciously, you may feel safer in denial, but that does not change the reality of a situation.

It is tempting to stay in denial. Sometimes you do not even realize that you are there. Certain situations are hard to face, such as when you have a conflict with someone who has influence over your future, you have something difficult to tell a colleague or there is something you are doing that you know is not good for you, but will be hard to change.

When you are in denial, part of you is asleep. You are blocking out reality. This cannot help you and you risk suffering consequences that you are not ready for. Sometimes, it can take a while before you realize you are in denial. However, once you do, it is in your best interest to face what is there and to move on.


photo: geralt,

Is There Such A Thing As Safety Anymore?

safetymeditationspixabayLooking at the world today, safety is not a given anymore. As humans, we want safety even when we are seeking challenge and adventure (such as automatic activation devices on parachutes). The world is experiencing chaos and it is hard to know how to respond. Those upsetting the world right now are doing their best to instill fear and uncertainty, so that feelings of safety are gone.

What about safety at work? I am addressing psychological rather than physical safety here. Do you feel safe in your work? What does safety mean to you – security in your job, getting along with co-workers, confidence in your abilities?

Uncertainty and fear do show up at work. Accepting this, you can still create some safety by being aware of your organization or market’s culture and how you align with it, always having options, cultivating your emotional intelligence so that you can read people and situations and building up your courage to face whatever comes.


photo: meditations,

Manager Coaching Skills: Creating A Safe Space For Coaching

Coaching is most effective when the person receiving the coaching feels a level of safety. Safety allows them to speak honestly and know they will be treated fairly in the coaching relationship.

Here are some ways you can create a safe space when you are coaching a member of your team:

• Before the coaching begins, establish the intent and focus of the coaching, your expectations for their participation and your goals for the coaching.

• Ask them what their expectations are for the coaching and what you can do to make it work for them.

• Set the ground rules for your coaching sessions including how long you will coach, how long your coaching meetings will be, if they will have action items resulting from each coaching meeting and any boundaries for the coaching relationship.

• See yourself as a coach when you are meeting. Do not have side discussions about other aspects of your work together. You are there to create a space of motivation, support and encouragement for them to move forward.

• Make sure your feedback is constructive and periodically ask for their feedback on how the coaching is going for them.

• Acknowledge their progress, when warranted.

It is a delicate balance to be a person’s manager and to develop a safe coaching space. It deserves some critical thinking on your part. You can always incorporate coaching tools and techniques in your managing. However, when you enter into a coaching relationship with a team member you are in another territory and must define it. Another consideration involves the purpose of the coaching. Coaching intended to correct deficiencies and improve performance at a basic level is different than coaching to build skills or assist a team member in moving up in the organization. For some coaching, you may not be able to establish a completely safe space. Think about what safety you can and cannot offer, depending on the individual situation.

With safety a part of it, coaching can be a powerful tool helping managers and their teams to excel.

photo: Vencib |